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YourDarkness's Journal


YourDarkness's Journal

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3 entries this month
 

A Dream I had Today

00:50 Mar 31 2009
Times Read: 615


(Note: I tried to make a layout of the dream area, but it won't work on VR and I'm too lazy, so the link to my other journal is

http://liquidblades.livejournal.com/4053.html

if you want to see the layout.)





Above is the layout of the area I dreamed of. I've numbered the rooms to reference to them, the x is where I started, the {} is a window, and the represents doorways.



This dream may end up being described as confusing.. I'm not very good at explaining things, haha. But I am willing to try, because this dream struck me as very odd, and slightly disturbing, but it did not scare me..



I was meant to lock the door from room 2 that lead to room 3, because 'Lucy' (reminds me of Elfen Lied) had escaped from the cell and was making her way in room 1. I was suppose to lock the door to save the otehers that were sleeping in room 3 and 4, while sacraficing myself. Right when I was about to lock the door, I felt a twinge of fear. I guess it triggered a switch, because I wasn't in control anymore, but I was watching and aware of everything.



Lucy came from room 1 into room 2, and I was sure she was going to kill 'me,' but 'I' opened the door that lead into room 3 for her, and said, "Here you are, Madam." She smiled and continued into the room, which had Jones, Derick, and two others sleeping. She shot Jones, and the two others, and Amaya ran in and asked her, "Please don't kill Derick!" She agreed, and continued into room 4 to kill four other sleeping people, then went back to room 2 and was speaking with some guy that had somehow got there. Another thing to note, is that each time she shot someone, a picture of an ink blot picture would flash into my head, all resembling living things. I remember one was a scorpion.



Derick woke up, still half asleep, and grumpy. I came back, and ran into the room to talk to him. He said he couldn't sleep because "the smell of pot." I told him it was the smell of blood, the others were dead, and not to do anything sudden, that she wasn't going to kill us, and be calm. He started having a full body seizure, and I got very worried. I also began having a seizue. I think I woke up at some point around here, or I just can't remember any more of it. I don't remember who all was in each room, but I do remember feeling like Jones for sure died. Ans I don't remember who the others were, but there were six others if I am thinking correctly.. And I felt like they were all very close to me.


COMMENTS

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The fucking voices

10:38 Mar 25 2009
Times Read: 626


I can't sleep.



I think I just got past my mini-breakdown.. Hopefully there won't be more tonight/this morning..



I woke up, and couldn't move half the time, and half the time my head would seize, and I kept hearing so many voices..



For a time at the beginning I felt like I was fighting for life with Giamii, or Rosa maybe.. I'm pretty sure it was Giamii though.



By the end of it there were so many fucking voices and they were all saying "Jamie!" I really snapped..



I haven't had a night full of episodes that shook me this bad in quite a while..



And I can't even remember what all they were saying to me.. I just remember there were so many of them, struggling, seizing, being paralyzed, and losing my head crying running around the house and outside because I couldn't wake up Derick to help me..



And to top it off, I upset Derick so bad last night.. I don't even want to begin on that, it's so terrible of me.. It has to do with Becca though.



Why can't life be simple? Why can't I be a dumb blonde that just needs pretty clothes and make-up to be happy? Why can't I make the others around me happy? Why do I fuck up so much? And why do I deserve all of this?


COMMENTS

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TheDevilsHarlot
TheDevilsHarlot
20:18 Mar 25 2009

I am so sorry hun...I wish I could've helped somehow...



Becca is a worthless bitch. You deserve whomever you wish, and if that person is Derick, she has no right to interfere.



I don't know. Belairah thinks the same...She wishes to be normal sometimes...I love you hun.



~ Belial Razahl





YourDarkness
YourDarkness
01:05 Mar 31 2009

^_^ Thank you.. And I love you.





 

Elsewhere..

13:48 Mar 11 2009
Times Read: 645


I've made a new journal elsewhere..



Since nonusers of this site, random people, can view what I write here, I've chosen to make a hidden journal elsewhere.



Under my name.



Yet, hopefully, unfindable, and unreadable by others.



Yes, Austin, this means I won't tell you.



It's for my deepest most private thoughts.



So that I won't have to be judged by anyone.



And as far as I know, if it is found, I can filter it where people can only see certain entries, unless they befriend me on the site. Which I will be very picky about.


COMMENTS

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imagesinwords
imagesinwords
13:56 Mar 11 2009

It's up to you whether you want people to read your entries here or not.



We have the option of making any entry 'private'... so there should never be any concern with people reading things you don't want them to.





TheDevilsHarlot
TheDevilsHarlot
22:33 Mar 24 2009

Austin has a Vampire Rave?





YourDarkness
YourDarkness
10:42 Mar 25 2009

Where is the privacy option? I only want members of the site to be able to read what I write.. And I can't seem to figure it out. =/





No, Austin doesn't have an account, he just knows my account name, and account or not, you can read my journal knowing that. I don't know how to make it private for only account holders to read..





TheDevilsHarlot
TheDevilsHarlot
20:25 Mar 25 2009

That privacy-invading bastard.



~ Belial.








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